Diario de mis pesadillas

Las horas más largas son las que paso sola conmigo. El cielo está cansado ya de ver la lluvia caer. Y yo estoy cansada también. De mí. Voy a terminar conmigo. Y dale con los cantantes colombianos. - It's like the longest movie. I look at people. Doing things. But how. I usually just watch. I don't do things. I cannot even picture myself doing them. So now I'm sitting here, waiting for the movie to end. That's what it feels like. No rent to pay, no deadlines. I don't need anything. That's why I don't do anything. I complain about things that make no sense. Look at everything I left behind. This is what I wanted. It seemed so much easier when I didn't have to actually do it. But other people do. And they seem pretty fucking stable. They don't let you see them cry. Oh and how I love to cry. - Escribir se me ha hecho distinto estos días. Estos meses. Pesado no. Es distinto. No quiero. Entonces tengo estas ideas breves y orac...

Le doy vueltas al catire. He won’t bite. I have been thinking about it recently. A lot. What his lips might taste like. Waking up next to him, he has to go to work early but lets me sleep in his bed while he gets ready. That sweet, sweet body in a white shirt and boxers. In the sunlight. Those eyes. Fixed on mine. I hate having to go through all of this. Would you just show up at my door, come in and start taking my clothes off. Sweet, sweet desire. The things I would do to you. - Solo una birra, me dijo antes de salir. Cuando lo dejamos en su casa ya era de día. Se despidió desde el asiento de atrás, sin haber salido del carro. Cuando se bajó lo agarré por la chaqueta y le planté un beso en el cachete mientras pasaba un dedo por sus labios. He wouldn't kiss me again. Fue la última vez que lo vi.

What shape is the key to your intimacy? We were never on the same page. I loved you from the beginning, knowing this was pointless. I cannot get you out of my head to this day. It’s not a matter of whether the pros outweigh the cons. It’s a matter of knowing that I’ll find myself in this place again. Cornered. This is exhausting. And it doesn't make me happy anymore. I'm worn out. You win. - If it doesn't open, it is not your door. - Ya es tarde. Hay puertas que se cierran y que nunca se abren. Ahora soy yo quien dice no. ¿A dónde irá el amor que un día te tuve? - It is done. This time I mean it. Puedes tomarme en serio ahora. Todo es mentira. Es la última vez que te burlas de mí.